End of the line

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End of the line

Postby motoman » Tue Feb 07, 2012 1:45 pm

My life is over, instead of making you laugh I have the sad task of informing you that I am on my way to prison. Please forgive me, the following communication explains all:


THIS IS THE F.B.I
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001




ATTENTION DEAR THIS IS THE FINAL WARNING YOU ARE GOING TO RECIEVE FROM ME DO YOU GET ME????





I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MANY TIMES THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN SENT TO YOU?.





WE HAVE WARNED YOU SO MANY TIME AND YOU HAVE DECIDED TO IGNORE OUR E-MAILS OR BECAUSE YOU BELIEVE WE HAVE NOT BEEN INSTRUCTED TO GET YOU ARRESTED, AND TODAY IF YOU FAIL TO RESPOND BACK TO US WITH THE PAYMENT THEN, WE WOULD FIRST SEND A LETTER TO THE MAYOR OF THE CITY WHERE YOU RESIDE AND DIRECT THEM TO CLOSE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT UNTIL YOU HAVE BEEN JAILED AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES WILL BE CONFISCATED BY THE FBI.





WE WOULD ALSO SEND A LETTER TO THE COMPANY/AGENCY THAT YOU ARE WORKING FOR SO THAT THEY COULD GET YOU FIRED UNTIL WE ARE THROUGH WITH OUR INVESTIGATIONS BECAUSE A SUSPECT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT OR ANY PRIVATE ORGANIZATION.





YOUR ID WHICH WE HAVE IN OUR DATABASE BEEN SENT TO ALL THE CRIMES AGENCIES IN AMERICA FOR THEM TO INSET YOU IN THEIR WEBSITE AS AN INTERNET FRAUDSTERS AND TO WARN PEOPLE FROM HAVING ANY DEALS WITH YOU. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN SOLVED ALL THIS WHILE IF YOU HAD GOTTEN THE CERTIFICATE SIGNED, ENDORSED AND STAMPED AS YOU WHERE INSTRUCTED IN THE E-MAIL BELOW.THIS IS THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) AM WRITING IN RESPONSE TO THE E-MAIL YOU SENT TO US AND AM USING THIS MEDIUM TO INFORM YOU THAT THERE IS NO MORE TIME LEFT TO WASTE BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN FROM THE 3RD OF JANUARY.





AS STATED EARLIER TO HAVE THE DOCUMENT ENDORSED, SIGNED AND STAMPED WITHOUT FAILURE AND YOU MUST ADHERE TO THIS DIRECTIVES TO AVOID YOU BLAMING YOURSELF AT LAST WHEN WE MUST HAVE ARRESTED AND JAILED YOU FOR LIFE AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES CONFISCATED.





YOU FAILED TO COMPLY WITH OUR DIRECTIVES AND THAT WAS THE REASON WHY WE DIDN'T HEAR FROM YOU ON THE 3RD AS OUR DIRECTOR HAS ALREADY BEEN NOTIFIED ABOUT YOU GET THE PROCESS COMPLETED YESTERDAY AND RIGHT NOW THE WARRANT OF ARREST HAS BEEN SIGNED AGAINST YOU AND IT WILL BE CARRIED OUT IN THE NEXT 48HOURS AS STRICTLY SIGNED BY THE FBI DIRECTOR.






WE HAVE INVESTIGATED AND FOUND OUT THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHEN THE FRAUDULENT DEAL WAS COMMITTED WITH YOUR INFORMATION'S/IDENTITY AND RIGHT NOW IF YOU ID IS PLACED ON OUR WEBSITE AS A WANTED PERSON, I BELIEVE YOU KNOW THAT IT WILL BE A SHAME TO YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY BECAUSE AFTER THEN IT WILL BE ANNOUNCE IN ALL THE LOCAL CHANNELS THAT YOU ARE WANTED BY THE FBI.





AS A GOOD CHRISTIAN AND A HONEST MAN, I DECIDED TO SEE HOW I COULD BE OF HELP TO YOU BECAUSE I WOULD NOT BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU END UP IN JAIL AND ALL YOUR PROPERTIES CONFISCATED ALL BECAUSE YOUR INFORMATION'S WAS USED TO CARRY OUT A FRAUDULENT TRANSACTIONS, I CALLED THE EFCC AND THEY DIRECTED ME TO A PRIVATE ATTORNEY WHO COULD HELP YOU GET THE PROCESS DONE AND HE STATED THAT HE WILL ENDORSE, SIGN AND STAMP THE DOCUMENT AT THE SUM OF $599 USD ONLY AND I BELIEVE THIS PROCESS IS CHEAPER FOR YOU.





YOU NEED TO DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE WITHIN TODAY AND TOMORROW TO GET THIS PROCESS DONE BECAUSE OUR DIRECTOR HAS CALLED TO INFORM ME THAT THE WARRANT OF ARREST HAS BEEN SIGNED AGAINST YOU AND ONCE IT HAS BEEN APPROVED, THEN THE ARREST WILL BE CARRIED OUT, AND FROM OUR INVESTIGATIONS WE LEARNT THAT YOU WERE THE PERSON THAT FORWARDED YOUR IDENTITY TO ONE IMPOSTOR/FRAUDSTERS IN NIGERIA LAST YEAR WHEN HE HAD A DEAL WITH YOU ABOUT THE TRANSFER OF SOME ILLEGAL FUNDS INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WHICH IS VALUED AT THE SUM OF $10.500,000.00 USD.





I PLEADED ON YOUR BEHALF SO THAT THIS AGENCY COULD GIVE YOU THE 2011/12/28 SO THAT YOU COULD GET THIS PROCESS DONE BECAUSE I LEARNT THAT YOU WERE SENT SEVERAL E-MAIL WITHOUT GETTING A RESPONSE FROM YOU, PLEASE BEAR IT IN MIND THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO HELP YOU AT THIS MOMENT OR YOU WOULD HAVE TO FACE THE LAW AND ITS CONSEQUENCES ONCE IT HAS BEFALL ON YOU.YOU WOULD MAKE THE PAYMENT THROUGH MONEY GRAM TRANSFER OR WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE BELOW DETAILS.





RECEIVER NAME ==== PAUL UBA
COUNTRY========== NIGERIA
CITY============== LAGOS
TEXT QUESTION==== WHEN
TEXT ANSWER===== TODAY TODAY
AMOUNT=====$599USD
SENDERS NAME======




SEND THE PAYMENT DETAILS TO ME WHICH ARE SENDERS NAME AND ADDRESS, MTCN NUMBER, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER USED AND THE AMOUNT SENT.





MAKE SURE THAT YOU DIDN'T HESITATE MAKING THE PAYMENT DOWN TO THE AGENCY BY TODAY SO THAT THEY COULD HAVE THE CERTIFICATE ENDORSED, SIGNED AND STAMPED IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY. AFTER ALL THIS PROCESS HAS BEEN CARRIED OUT, THEN WE WOULD HAVE TO PROCEED TO THE BANK FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR COMPENSATION FUNDS WHICH IS VALUED AT THE SUM OF $10,500,000.00 USD WHICH WAS SUPPOSE TO HAVE BEEN TRANSFERRED TO YOU ALL THIS WHILE.





NOTE/ ALL THE CRIMES AGENCIES HAS BEEN CONTACTED ON THIS REGARDS AND WE SHALL TRACE AND ARREST YOU IF YOU DISREGARD THIS INSTRUCTIONS.







YOU ARE GIVEN A GRACE TODAY TO MAKE THE PAYMENT FOR THE DOCUMENT AFTER WHICH YOUR FAILURE TO DO THAT WILL ATTRACT A MAXIMUM ARREST AND FINALLY YOU BE APPEARING IN COURT FOR ACT OF TERRORISM,MONEY LAUNDERING AND DRUG TRAFFICKING CHARGES,








RESPECTIVELY







AGENT RONALD T. HOSKO.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI)
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RE: End of the line

Postby Aadje » Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:03 pm

Bloody hell, these guys get more "inventive" every time
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Re: End of the line

Postby GreenBean » Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:49 pm

motoman wrote:My life is over, instead of making you laugh I have the sad task of informing you that I am on my way to prison. Please forgive me....

No, don't worry, you are still making us laugh. :wink: :lol: :lol:
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RE: End of the line

Postby bruceb » Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:49 pm

OK, OK, so Pete's gone. Who's going to take over the role of forum comedian? Image
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Re: RE: End of the line

Postby GreenBean » Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:52 pm

bruceb wrote:OK, OK, so Pete's gone. Who's going to take over the role of forum comedian? Image

He can keep the role. We can go and visit him and laugh our socks off. :lol: :lol:
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RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby motoman » Wed Feb 08, 2012 7:07 pm

That's unkind, after all I am the subject of an FBI case file. Make that an Upper Case File. However: He did call me dear so there is hope for me still.

I shall visit the Lagos FBI HQ, situated above Abdulla Bulla's shoe shine stand. The cheapest way is via India as I can collect 200 dollars each time I pass Goa.

I must advise you all that the terrorism charge may stick, I was unaware that putting waste paper in the landfill box was such a serious crime, please check your rubbish carefully before putting it out.

I did call the Foreign Office about this matter but was told to FO, most confusing.

He did end his communication RESPECTIVELY and I do admire people who can invent almost intelligabubble words.
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RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby Aadje » Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:08 pm

I find it very peculiar that FBI agent Ronald T. Hosko urges you to give some other guy, namely Paul Uba, money :)

Just watch out that Rosco P Coltrane doesn't come chasing you . . . ;)
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Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby geedee » Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:57 pm

motoman wrote: However: He did call me dear so there is hope for me still..


Well he would wouldn't he, we all know you aren't cheap ... !!
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby CakeBoy » Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:36 am

Dear Mr motoman,

Send coffee beans dear or all of your coffee will be confiscated until you are jailed and Beanie will whip you with a jute coffee sack .......... no, hold on, scrap the last part, you might enjoy it too much.

Start again!

Dear Mr motoman,

Send coffee beans dear or all of your coffee will be confiscated until you are jailed! IF YOU DO SEND BEANS, you will be whipped mercilessly by Beanie using an old jute coffee sack! :shock: :P. That's better, that will work :D
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby motoman » Fri Feb 10, 2012 1:06 pm

I must warn you all that my Decaffeination Ray is completing final trials, the range is extended to cover most of southern England and my stress level over your insults is at breaking point.

Prison holds no fear for me as I still have 2Kg of Jailbreak and am not afraid to use it.

I know that Beanie will not continue if I scream so where's the fun in that!
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby CakeBoy » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:11 pm

Oh she will ......... :roll:

Hah, your threats don't scare us ....... we have an unopened tin of Levazza and are not afraid to break the seal! :shock: :P
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Iberital L'Anna 1 Gp Hand-Fill | Wega Orion 2 Gp | Bezzera 1 Gp | Rancilio Audrey PID | Spidem Trevi
Iberital MC2 Timed | Macap M4 DS & MXA DS | Mazzer SJ | Starbucks Barista Grinder (Dualit E60/Solis 166)
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RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby bruceb » Fri Feb 10, 2012 2:30 pm

Jailbreak, Lavazza, Beanie! Violence of this nature will not be tolerated on this forum! Image
Three Francesconi (CMA) espresso machines - Rossi, San Marco, LaCimbali, Faema and 2 Mazzer Major grinders- CoffeeTech Maggionlino, Hottop, Alpenröst and HW Precision roasters.
I decided I needed a bit of a change so I roasted some Monsooned Malabar. That was a change!
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Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby GreenBean » Fri Feb 10, 2012 5:45 pm

CakeBoy wrote:Oh she will ......... :roll: ....

Personal experience or wishful thinking? :wink:
bruceb wrote:Jailbreak, Lavazza, Beanie! Violence of this nature will not be tolerated on this forum! Image

Ok, Lavazza may be a bit over the top, :? but Jailbreak and Beanie are just a bit of fun aren't they? :D
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Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby Beanie » Sat Feb 11, 2012 12:30 am

motoman wrote:I know that Beanie will not continue if I scream so where's the fun in that!
Oooooh...you're a screamer? I'm ready whenever you are :twisted:
GreenBean wrote:
CakeBoy wrote:Oh she will ......... :roll: ....

Personal experience or wishful thinking?

Ok, Lavazza may be a bit over the top, :? but Jailbreak and Beanie are just a bit of fun aren't they? :D
Thanks for finding me a screamer NutCakes...just hope he doesn't do that 5yo high-pitched shrill then beg for his mama to save him like you did. Did that sufficiently answer you query, Greenie?

"a bit"? A BIT??!!!! Pffffffft. You want to be next on the list, Greenie? Is THAT it?
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Re: RE: Re: RE: Re: RE: End of the line

Postby GreenBean » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:12 am

Beanie wrote:... Did that sufficiently answer you query, Greenie?

Yes, thank you. :shock:

Beanie wrote:... "a bit"? A BIT??!!!! Pffffffft. You want to be next on the list, Greenie? Is THAT it?

You make it sound very tempting Beanie. :? :oops: :oops:
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