From reading the recent posts, I have reconsidered my plans for opening my first coffee shop. My ideal location is now the shack between the fire station and the River Severn. In the event of fire, drop down Co2 masks above each seat will deploy, all the oxygen will be sucked from the building and the sluice gates will open to flush out the debris.
The dilema of which colour towels used to wipe out the p/f is solved by using coffee coloured asbestos material. As a safety backup, flame throwers will purge the equipment of all germs (including swine flu). A team of medics from the hospital at the rear of the shop will be on standby in case of emergency.
In the interest of public safety, all frothing wands will be removed and only espresso served. Customers will be allowed to bring in their own hot milk as long as they observe the, no outside food to be consumed in shop rule.
All customers entering the shop will be required to walk through the foot bath to eliminate all diseases, including anthrax, foot and mouth and chicked flu. The anti nit spray is quite subtle and will be hardly noticed.
Staff hygene is paramount and all tongs, spoons and other utensils will be dipped in DDT before and after each use. I have been advised that the large jar of dead cockroaches should not be on display although I still think it proves that we care about cleanliness.
We look forward to your custom.