If Microsoft made cars

by **AlanP** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 3:44 pm

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off!

by **CakeBoy** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:49 pm

by **zapty** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 5:54 pm

Good old Bill must have choked on that one..

by **Aadje** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:15 am

old but so funny

MAc own for ever

by **Aadje** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 1:15 am

I'll read it when Im sober

by **AlanP** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:16 pm

Would you have put your hard earned money into an enterprise headed by this lot?

by **KateM** » Fri Feb 24, 2006 12:31 pm

Looks like your average TMC member to me :wink:

by **Steve** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:57 am

They were forward thinking VC's back then

So are you saying your one with the beard Kate

(sorry couldnt help myself). and where is the ginger one ?

by **espressomattic** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 9:23 am

Sorry, but I have to say that they look like they should be in a line up or something!!

by **CakeBoy** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:22 pm

Or a kaftan ...................

by **AlanP** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 12:43 pm

espressomattic wrote:.........they should be in a line up or something!!

I believe they were told to form a line but you know what Windows is like,
you can stack one on top of another

by **espressomattic** » Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:57 pm

If Microsoft made cars

If Microsoft made cars

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