Coffee rules in my house

[Terje]

Only fresh coffee is served. Pre-ground coffee isn't to be found in my kitchen and pre-roassted beans, I have two jars, are used to flavor my home made chocolates, not for making coffee.

Unless you're my mom, in which case I already know what you want, you're gonna have to answer some questions about what you want and how you usually drink your coffee. The kitchen is capable of producing a vast range of different coffee tastes, I'm asking to get closer to yours.

If you decide on turkish coffee I will ask you a little further if you want some special spices added to it or just plain. If it turns out it's your first time with turkish coffee I will not ask, I'll just give you a cup made from Yirgacheffe beans. It'll make you cry.

At no time is brewed coffee stored. I'll gladly make new, fresh coffee for you even if it means pouring out a cup that took me 15 minutes to make.

When talking about cappucino, no arabica snobs are allowed. A good cappucino demands a certain amount of robusta beans. I'll prove it to you if you doubt me.

The coffee that's served is strong. If you wanted chocolate you should have told me. The kitchen is capable of producing both great chocolate as well as great black, green or oolong tea. Don't ask for the wrong thing and then complain when you get your cup, OK.

It is OK to add sugar and/or cream to your coffee but if I see you trying to put honey or soya milk (even if it's fresh and home made) in there I might call the cops.

[blackice]

I like your post a lot!

Regarding the robusta in cappuccino, it's a matter of personal taste. It's not bad but it's not necessary either.

[leecb]

Oh man, I couldn't have put it better myself.
If you wanted a cup of tea why did you ask for espresso???
By the way I still don't like the effect or taste of robusta in any coffee!

[zix]

Monsooned Malabar isn't all that bad in cappas. Or so I think.
Putting your coffee rules on the 'net where everyone can see them is a very good idea! Leaves no room for misunderstandings, and you don't have to repeat yourself... heck, you could even put the link to this page on your visiting card and other stationery.

[mhuk]

Print it and have it laminated and put it on the wall in your kitchen

[leecb]

I like a mixture of Monsooned Malabar and either Colombian or Kenya AA for Latte or Cappucino...

[Joris]

Man, those rules are spot on !! I want them on a t-shirt

[quink]

No complaints here, just add, anyone comparing the coffee to their choice of instant coffe will be asked to leave.

[Joris]

No complaints here, just add, anyone comparing the coffee to their choice of instant coffe will be asked to leave.

Better make that "People asking for instant coffee will be shot."

[Aadje]

or make that: People will not ask for instant coffee.

[Davec]

I would like to add one more rule, If you want flavoured coffee or syrups, funny coloured sprinkles or whatever, ^&* off to starbucks.

And yes totally agree, a good cappa needs some robusta in the blend. People don't realise that really good quality (in fact top quality robusta) can be quite expensive. A good cappa blend can have as much as 20% or even more.

I currently have a bg of beans thats very scary.....it has a artwork by David Mann (sadly dead now) on the bag and is a 40% robusta blend. The only thing that makes it drinkable is the Robusta is extremely good quality....but it has huge amounts of bite.....and is fantastic in cappas, as many people have said.

However....be afraid....be very afraid

[espressomattic]

My Rules:

My coffee is good, you will enjoy it!!
You may have milk/sugar
You may not have instant, it is not an option
I will explain the coffee you are drinking
You can choose from several types of preperation
You will leave more alert and a better person for it
Yes you are right, I am a coffee geek and proud of it
I accept the ridicule from my wife, it is usually justified
Tea is also available, the selection is growing
Chocolate is here too, no cadburys though, only REAL Chocolate or Chocolate Abyss
No refunds and I will listen to your complaints and never invite you again!!!

[BazBean]

Nice one Terje
Rules ?....... i say lets make them commandments and have parliment make them LAW

only addition ..... dont you dare, i mean really dare , ask for "just" a coffee ..... unless you want to see my head explode .....

[Joris]

Worst answer I ever got at the question "do you want espresso or a cappuccino" was "don't you have Red Bull ?, there's more caffeine in that than in coffee didn't you know ?", as if we only drink coffee for the caffeine....

[Raf]

"don't you have Red Bull ?, there's more caffeine in that than in coffee didn't you know ?"

That's like asking for the liquid in a thermometer when someone offers you a glass of champagne... "more alcohol in that, didn't you know?"