Word Perfect

[AlanP]

I came across this the other day

...................................

I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.

This is supposedly a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?
Caller: Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect:
Operator: What sort of trouble??
Caller: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away
Operator:Went away?
Caller: They disappeared
Operator:Hmm: So what does your screen look like now?
Caller: Nothing
Operator:Nothing??
Caller: It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type
Operator:Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??
Caller: How do I tell?
Operator:Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??
Caller: What's a sea-prompt?
Operator:Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?
Caller: There isn't any cursor: I told you; it won't accept anything I type:
Operator:Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Caller: What's a monitor?
Operator:It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV: Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
Caller: I don't know:
Operator:Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it: Can you see that??
Caller: Yes, I think so:
Operator:Great: Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall:
Caller: Yes, it is:
Operator:When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??
Caller: No:
Operator:Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable:
Caller: Okay, here it is:
Operator:Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer:
Caller: I can't reach:
Operator:Uh huh: Well, can you see if it is?
Caller: No:
Operator:Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
Caller: Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark:
Operator:Dark??
Caller: Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window:
[color=red]Operator:Well, turn on the office light then:[/color]Caller: I can't:
Operator:No? Why not??
Caller: Because there's a power failure:
Operator:A power:::::::::::: A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now: Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?
Caller: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet:
Operator:Good: Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it: Then take it back to the store you bought it from:
Caller: Really? Is it that bad?
Operator:Yes, I'm afraid it is:
Caller: Well, all right then, I suppose: What do I tell them?
Operator:Tell them you're too f£$%^& stupid to own a computer!!!!!

[motoman]

Yep! an old un but a good one.

[AlanP]

Yes,I did wonder how 'current' it was.
Seemed a touch apocryphal to me,but a 'smiler' all the same

[CakeBoy]

That one is funny, it has also been accredited to an IBM employee, someone from Dell and so on. Having had to take first line tech support calls out of hours when our help desk was closed at a firm I once worked, I feel for people fielding this sort of call all day.

At a few minutes before seven one morning, just before leaving for home, I took a call from someone who was "showing a junior employee how the system works" and suddenly "all the writing in word disappeared".
I replied "changing the font colour were we?"
"Yes! How did you know?"
"Bet you wanted white text on a black background?"
"Yes!"

He had just changed the text straight from black to white without using a third colour. All simple stuff but a pain working it out for tech support when the caller thinks his computer has "broken down" because his "screen has gone all white", "blank", "off" or whatever.