Worst espresso!

Is it actually possible to find a good shot?

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Worst espresso!

Postby RufusA » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:31 am

I know this is a place to post good espresso stories, but I thought I post a bad one - no names, no packdrill.

My daughter was invited to a children's party at a soft-play centre in Surrey. Having over-slept I didn't have enough time to prepare my morning shot, but was pleasantly suprised to find a well equiped coffee bar in this soft play area.

A nice 3 group espresso machine, a heavy duty grinder with the hopper just filled minutes after arriving - it all sounded reasonably promising.

Now top tip - when you ask for a "double espresso" and you get a reply "is that a type of tea" (I kid you not) you should run and keep running without looking back.

The "barista" claimed she knew how to make a latte, so I explained that all I required was like a latte, but without any milk. i.e. just a double shot of coffee in the bottom of a small cup!

Her first attempt was to show me 2 spoonfuls of *shudders* instant coffee in the bottom of a mug and ask if that was strong enough. Over 5ks worth of coffee equipment and she uses instant coffee in the lattes - aaaggghhh!

I re-iterated what I wanted and explained all she needed was to put a double dose of freshly ground coffee in a PF, tamp it, then press the double shot button on espresso machine with a suitably sized cup underneath. She nodded and said she would bring it over.

10 mins later I was presented with a mug of watery black coffee. Not an Americano but instead on seeing the small size of a double at the bottom of a mug she continued to run shots through the same grinds until the mug was full!

A little overextracted to say the least! The smell of the cooked coffee was very nauseating.

Luckily she allowed me the other side of the counter for the third attempt, and with direct supervision we were able to get a reasonable tasting drink.

So morale of the story, it doesn't matter how good the setup is, if you don't train the staff properly it's all for nothing!

Anyone else got any horror stories.

Rufus.
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Postby Johnmac » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:42 am

That is an amazing lack of knowledge. On the other hand a good thing resulted - she let you teach her something. Unfortunately, getting behind the bar in places where they think they can make coffee well is going to be much more difficult. Can't imagine it happening in *fwirrks or one of the other big chains.
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Postby Johnmac » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:48 am

A soft-play centre with a 3-group! I want to take my daughter there.
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Postby Aadje » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:53 am

Maybe you can teach her some more, or even become a soft-play centre barista yourself :D
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Postby bruceb » Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:21 pm

This doesn't seem like a horror story compared to many that we have shared here in the past, simply because she let you teach her to make something you wanted, as Mr. Vegemite said. I have never experienced a "coffee maker" (I don't think the word barista applies to these folks) who would admit they didn't know what they were doing. Of course it isn't their fault, it's the fault of the owner/manager.

I was told in a gorgeous restaurant in Las Vegas that they didn't do espresso macchiatos. I said, "Do you serve espresso?" Yes, of course. I said, "Do you serve cappuccino?" Yes, of course. "So all you do is give me an espresso with a bit of milk froth on top." What did I get? I got told that the boss didn't allow them to change anything on the menu. I thought they might be using a superauto that did everything at once and wasn't programmed for macchiatos, but no, they had a 3-group Rancilio.

Last summer I ordered an espresso in an Italian restaurant near Heidelberg and watched as the "coffee maker" left the puck in the portafilter from the last one she had made, then proceeded in less than 10 seconds to fill my demitasse to the rim with grayish, watery liquid. "I'm afraid I overfilled your cup, I hope that doesn't matter." she said laughing. I assured her it did matter and what's more I had watched her make it and she used the same puck as before and that was wholly unacceptable, etc. She looked at me condescendingly and explained that they always use a double basket and make two espresso without changing it. I said, that's fine if you make them simultaneously, but not one after the other. She walked away, the boss came and asked what the problem was. I showed him my espresso and he honestly said, "I should really charge you for a double. That's twice as much as you should get." I said, "Twice as much WHAT?" He grabbed the cup, took it away and brought the bill...without the espresso. I paid it and only afterwards saw that he had charged me for 3 glasses of wine rather than the one I drank. I took it back to him and quietly told him that I wanted this corrected and he fumed away and let me stand there for nearly 15 minutes until he sent the waitress who then gave me the 8 Euros in 10, 20, and 50 euro cent pieces. A few months later I noticed that the place and closed.

I know that the thing to do is not order espresso in restaurants. But after dinner I like to have one. Instead I usually get indigestion, even though I don't drink the coffee.
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Postby Sarion » Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:45 pm

Wow, Rufus! Very good of you to help her out, we should all be so brave and helpful! :-) You rock!
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Postby CakeBoy » Thu Jan 18, 2007 1:49 pm

"The horror, the horror" as Brando gasped in Apocalypse Now. And that is exactly what it is - standing in disbelief whilst someone bastardises the elixir. These stories make me shudder. Of course, that is because I have some of my own, as we all have.

I don't want to think about recounting those involving awful beverages, but the funniest was the manager of our local Starbucks not knowing what a tamper was and quietly telling me that she didn'y know how the "handle thingy" worked in the Starbick's Barista espresso machine on sale because "we only use superautos". Bless her, she was very sweet about it and not at all embarrassed. I liked her honesty :D

You did a tob job there Rufus. Hopefully she learned something, and all kudos to you for going behind and showing her.

Crikey Brucey, that is just a nightmare. The ignorance of these people makes my blood boil.
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Postby Aadje » Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:26 pm

wow bruce, what a story. I'm alraedy getting pissed off by reading it.
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Postby BazBean » Thu Jan 18, 2007 7:37 pm

I observed an americano being made by a double shot of pants espresso which then poured lungo which then kept going and then the same pour turned pale
and then to cream
and then to magnolia
and then to blonde
and then to pure White
without a break in the pour.

in other words a ....... 10oz Americano made from one continious pour from a double shot .

this was in an Italian place and could you imadgine the reaction if challenged them?
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Postby lukas » Thu Jan 18, 2007 7:55 pm

At least it was a double ... *sigh*
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Postby zix » Thu Jan 18, 2007 9:21 pm

Oh yes, Lukas, I have had that too... it was on a cafe/restaurant close to my workplace. After being served the second single shot with the cup full of sickly liquid and having tossed it away, I looked closely when the person behind the counter made another single and saw that this person was using a double portafilter with a single dose of coffee in the bottom, hardly packed, to make a "single" espresso... I assure you, it did NOT taste any good. Of course, I stopped the coffee-making human the third time. When told that this was not a good way to make espresso, this coffee-basher said "no, really, this is OK, we always do it like that when someone orders a single..."
I now know that one never orders a single espresso in that place.
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Postby jon » Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:43 pm

btw, is it possible to get an automatic machine (put beans in, push button, get coffee out) to make a reliably OK shot? If cafes/restaurants don't want to train staff, would that be a better option?
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Postby Gadders » Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:14 pm

Loving the horror stories :D

keep em coming! :P
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Postby CakeBoy » Fri Jan 19, 2007 12:22 am

jon wrote:btw, is it possible to get an automatic machine (put beans in, push button, get coffee out) to make a reliably OK shot? If cafes/restaurants don't want to train staff, would that be a better option?


Every UK Starbucks ........ :? :wink:
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Postby RobC » Fri Jan 19, 2007 12:42 am

jon wrote:btw, is it possible to get an automatic machine (put beans in, push button, get coffee out) to make a reliably OK shot? If cafes/restaurants don't want to train staff, would that be a better option?


It would be, but most bean to cups are relatively slow compared to a traditional machine unless they spend big money. Bean to cups also tend to be hard to adjust the grind unless you are an engineer - so tweaking shot times is out. Cleaning is essential to keep them running, and the routines for this can be quite time consuming. Finally they still would need to employ someone capable of pressing the correct button to get the drink asked for.
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